Saturday, April 14, 2012

What are we really saying?



















I have written as long as I can remember.

I love writing cards and letters - maybe because I love receiving them.

I love reading a lot of the old letters that I have kept - treasures.

That's how I would describe them.

I have kept a lot of my Viejita's letters.

Through the years her writing got to a point where she would take writing short cuts.

In her last few months her writing resembled sentences so abbreviated

that they could have come from a court stenographer.

It made me think about the short cuts we take each day in how we communicate.

These short cuts include e-mails, texting and twitter that daily contribute,

and reinforce our modern day, hurried up manner of communication.

When you think about it, it's this very lack of communication that is typically

at the heart of a lot of our misunderstandings.

It's not just "what", but "how" we say things that make a difference.

The words themselves (content), our tone (emotion), and what we are not saying

(nonverbal cues) matter.

It is about coming to the discussion without a personal agenda.

And allowing it to be a two sided, active listening and blame-free interaction.

It's about respecting what the other's person has to say.

It goes back to the, "seek or work to understand rather then being understood,"

approach to life.

Surprisingly enough, only 7 % of our communication is content, while 38 % has

to do with tone, and a whopping 55 % has to do with our body language,

(yes watch yours carefully as well as the other person's nonverbal cues..

facial expressions, body stance.. are the arms crossed or not, open handed

or clenched, shoulders raised or relaxed), the cumulative effect

is the "real" message.

Here's to our next conversation! 

Make it a "gran" communicative día!